Buying the right kind of fear

What a gorgeous girl, look
You do not have a nerve to approach her
20$ that I will.
Everything changed for me now, at this point. This was not about buying confidence. It was about buying the right kind of fear. Now, I was not chasing the thrill of a little “yes”, I was avoiding the pain of a big loss.

Most of us think we are motivated by carrots. In reality, we are often pulled by the stick we invent for ourselves.

Behavioral economists call it loss aversion: losses loom larger than gains. Winning a little feels nice, while losing the same amount feels awful. So we procrastinate on tasks with little rewards, and sprint when there is a sharp, near-term loss.

If there would not be any bet, I would feel awkward and eventually not approach, because there would be very little to gain. Meanwhile, with my bet, I had something to lose now. This made me try.

I walked over. She was really gorgeous, reading some women’s philosophy in a fancy cafe. Banger opener? Just a “hi”. Lucky me, she was in a good mood. She responded. We did little small talk and I got her Insta.

After a bet, the cost of not acting was clear and immediate.

Fear of loss really drives us more than possibility of similar gain. The concept itself is extremely fascinating. It makes us move.

Loss aversion is fascinating because it moves us. I got my 20 back, but I did not really win anything. I simply climbed back to zero. And that relief felt bigger than any “win”.